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Lord Nelson, Sutton, London SM1

Ahoy London landlubbers! This week's featured arrr-ticle is the mainbrace-splicing Lord Nelson in Sutton. "But Kat," I hear you holler in a sea-shanty style. "I see no ships in Sutton, as it is literally 60 miles from the Sheerness seaside!" Well that may be true, but any landlocked pirates will feel right at home at the salty Nelson, which has its own parrot. So be careful not to divulge the secret location of your treasure chest while quaffing your pint of Young's Ordinary!

Two new non-nautical additions to RGL: the terrifically-named Rock and Sole Plaice fish-n-chip joint in Covent Garden, and La Rochelle, a French restaurant on Croydon High Street that does a decent chicken supreme.

The branch of Palms of Goa on New Cavendish Street has now shut - after two disappointing meals there I can't really shed a tear for it. Any pirates in the area looking for South Indian cuisine would be better off going to Ragam, just round the corner.

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